Six Ways to Conquer the Fear of Beginnings

Six Ways to Conquer

the Fear of Beginnings

 By Sara Debbie Gutfreund

The marathoner standing at the start line anxiously awaiting to hear the gun

go off; the writer facing a blank page; the student opening the doors to a

new school... all beginnings are difficult.

Here are six ways to get over the fear of beginnings.

1. Remember that faith is stronger than fear. Ask God for help before you

begin. Ask Him to carry you through and believe that He will.

2. Be grateful for opportunities in your life. Focus on the pleasure and

meaning in this new endeavor.

3. Remind yourself that fear runs away when we run towards it.

4. Know that if it scares you, it has the potential to transform you. We don't

grow in our safety zones. We change when we’re willing to bear the

discomfort of new risks. As Abraham Maslow once said: "You will either

step forward into growth or you will step backward into safety."

5. Begin anywhere. You don't need to have all the answers before you start

something new. Just begin with what you have and where you are.

6. Embrace change. Our lives are not meant to remain the same. Emulate

Abraham, our patriarch, who left his land to embark on a journey whose

destination was unknown.

We are never quite ready to begin. Those first steps require courage and

faith that God will help us across the finish line. It’s up to us to move

forward despite the fear.

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5 Things You SHOULD Be Doing For A Successful Interview...but probably aren't.

Research, confident body language, practice; all important aspects of being successful in a job interview. We all know the drill. However, there are some less obvious factors that many candidates miss and may be defining factors in determining the success of an interview. 

1. Small Talk

You’re nervous, you have sweaty palms and you probably want the whole ‘ordeal’ to be over with however that’s not usually what happens. Often, there’s some casual banter that takes place before an employer will dive into the more formal question/answer portion of the interview. From the very awkward and seemingly never-ending walk to the interview room to the first few minutes of chit chat, the purpose of small talk is to get both parties to relax and for the employer to get a glimpse of your personality and social skills. You may have said you have excellent communication and people skills on your resume but here’s your chance to prove it. 

Tips:

• If the employer initiates a conversation, don’t respond with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers, continue the conversation by following up and asking questions. If they don't start the conversation, you should!
• Stick to safe subjects such as weather, traffic, travel and sports (who doesn’t want to talk about the Jays right now?) AVOID: religion, politics and other controversial topics
• Think about some talking points while you wait for the interviewer at the reception, observing your surroundings and noting anything which may be a good conversation starter
• Listen, ask questions and stay positive in your small talk

 

2. Assessing COMPANY Fit

As a job seeker you may be completely concerned about landing the job and selling yourself as the best candidate. While that is important, don’t forget that the interview is a two-way exchange. It is also a good opportunity for you to see first hand if the company is a good fit with yours. No matter how great the position and a company may be, if their values/culture don’t align with yours, the job will be stressful and unrewarding. The interview is one of the best chances for you to assess the work environment and determine it’s the right place for you and whether you’ll be happy going to work on a Monday morning.

Ask yourself:

• How were you treated before and during your interview?
• How do you feel in the company work environment?
• What is the tone of the interview? Very formal, totally unstructured? Organized? These are hints in how the company operates overall

 

3. Why should they hire you?

EVERY question is essentially asking why should the company hire you over all other candidates (yes, including the weakness question). In EACH of your answers, focus on what you bring to the position; your skills, experience, achievements and enthusiasm. Don’t highlight what you lack or may be missing ie) experience, technical skills, education. Also, don’t emphasize what you needfrom the company ie) training, benefits, advancement.

For behavioural based questions, when talking about past experience and scenarios, focus on the skills that you demonstrated in those scenarios because that’s what you will bring to the company and that's what they are most interested in. When using the STAR (situation, task, action, result) method of answering behavioural questions, the chunk of your answer must be spent on the 'action' step.  

 For the dreaded weakness question, talk about how you overcame the weakness and what skills you demonstrated to do so.

If there are any gaps which you have, be ready to explain how you will handle them, however that should only be if the employer brings them up first.

4. Thank you note

It seems most job seekers know they should be doing this however, not many people actually take the time to do this. In the last few interviews I have conducted, only about 20% of candidates actually took the time to send a thank you note, so if you do it you will stand out.

There’s really no downside for sending a thank you note after a job interview and if done well, it certainly won’t hurt your chances. Sending an individual email to each person who interviewed you demonstrates enthusiasm, professionalism and if done well, good communication skills.

Tips:

• Be concise, not more than 2 short paragraphs
• Proofread very carefully
• If you may have missed a very important point about you in the interview, now is the time to sneak it in
• Send within 24 hours of the interview

 

5. Write it down

After the interview while it’s fresh (within 24 hours), it’s important to take some time to reflect and assess what happened and any learning that will help you better perform in future interviews. Actually writing down the details will allow you to refer back to them and help you continually improve your preparation and performance to help land a job.

Ask yourself:

• Was I on time and well prepared?
• What questions did I answer really well?
• Were there any questions I haven’t heard before?
• Were there clear areas of improvement?
• What would I do differently next time?

Whether it's fair or not, most of the time the job doesn’t go to the most qualified candidate, but to the one the employer likes best. Ensuring fit, demonstrating a likeable personality,  and projecting enthusiasm by following the tips above are key for a good interview.  written by Natasha Walli 

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to comment below or send me a private message. You can reach   me Twitter @natashawalli.

  

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10 Strategies to Defeat Stress and Stay Positive

Tools for coping with the daily stresses of life.

by Harry Edelson

Stress is a good thing. Yes, you read that correctly. But like anything else it can become dangerous when it’s in excess and starts taking a toll on your mental and physical wellbeing. Stress is a fact of life and something we all have to manage on a daily basis. According to the American Institute of Stress, 80 percent of workers reported feeling stress on the job and nearly half said they needed help learning how to manage that stress.

At 80 years young, I am proud to say that I have been able to sustain a positive attitude even under the intense pressure of working in the financial industry for more than 40 years. Over the years, I have developed techniques to help cope with the daily stresses of life and remain positive. My family, friends and colleagues have all taken notice of my positivity so much so that I have earned the nickname “Happy Harry.”
Use these strategies to conquer stress and stay positive:
1. Use positive thinking and positive self-talk
It’s surprisingly easy to eliminate negative thinking just by focusing on positive images, events or ideas. Use these positive thoughts and images to build your self-confidence. When you’re feeling confident in your abilities, the workplace is not as stressful. If you find yourself doubting your abilities and start to feel stressed out and anxious at work, take a break to regroup. Go to the bathroom, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat a positive mantra that inspires confidence.
2. Get exercise and lead an active life
One of the best ways to deal with stress is to channel it in a positive direction, such as exercise. Even taking a quick break at work to get in a little exercise and get your body moving can help relieve stress throughout the day. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which signals happiness to the body. Endorphins help the body cope with feelings of stress and pain. Remaining active and exercising daily will help lower your stress levels not only at work, but also across all aspects of your life.
3. Develop your speed-reading skills
I found one of the greatest advantages in my career to be my ability to speed-read. Using this technique, I was able to read more legal briefs and work documents than others could do. This skill made me more efficient, allowing me to accomplish more. Not only is this a beneficial skill to have in the workplace, it’s also helpful in my personal life. Many people feel so bogged down with the amount of work or school reading that has to be done, that they rarely have time to sit and read for their own enjoyment. Mastering the technique of speed-reading will increase your efficiency on the job while also freeing up time for you to read just as efficiently for pleasure.
4. Set goals to achieve progress, not perfection
If the thought of having too many things to do is stressing you out, separate the tasks. Set goals for each day and start doing one task at a time. Try writing a to-do list for your day or mentally note the tasks you’ve managed to complete throughout the day. It always feels good to accomplish something. By organizing your daily tasks, you are able to clearly see just how much you have actually done in one day. It always feels good to accomplish something, even if it’s a small task. All activities big and small contribute to make a life fulfilling.
5. Focus on solutions, not problems
Try not to focus too much on the negative. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed with everything you have to accomplish at work and all of the problems that arise on a daily basis, refocus yourself and brainstorm possible solutions to your problems. This solution may be a long-term goal, but having something to work toward and focus your energy on will keep you moving in a positive direction.
6. Don’t second-guess your decisions
Constantly second-guessing your choices can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. If your choice does not yield the result you had hoped for, don’t complain. For all you know, the “road not taken” might have led to a worse outcome. Rather than second-guessing your choices, take the time to reassess the situation and find an alternate solution. Complaining about something that is out of your control won’t get you to a real solution any faster.
7. Ask for help
Don’t be afraid to reach out to your family, friends and colleagues for help. We are not islands. Use the people in your life to help lift your spirits when you cannot do it alone. Do not be embarrassed to ask for help; we all need assistance at some point or another. The people in your life who truly care about you want you to succeed and live a happy life. Surround yourself with positive people and their positive energy will create a ripple effect extending to you.
8. Stay involved in your community
We are human beings and need social interaction. Being involved in your community can be a positive outlet to allow yourself to mentally recharge and de-stress from work. Family provides a valuable sense of community and belonging. Finding an activity for your family to do together will strengthen that bond and create positive memories for everyone to draw upon during stressful times. Your sense of community does not have to come from family; it’s helpful to join any kind of group. There are many different communities to get involved in, such as book clubs, sports teams, community centers and religious groups. Stay connected and active in your community whoever they may be.
9. Remind yourself to be thankful for what you have
Do not complain about your job, boss or coworkers. Instead of complaining, do something to feel better about yourself. Putting down others will not relieve your stress or make you any happier. It never pays off to harbor anger. Remind yourself of all the good things in your life and to always be thankful for that. The secret to being happy is simply to choose that state of mind. The power is within you to take that first step and start thinking positively.
10. Find a balance
Life cannot be all work, and unfortunately it cannot be all play either. The key to being happy and successful is finding a balance between the two. We need both to survive and thrive. Working is necessary for obvious reasons including bills, rent/mortgages and daily expenses. Constantly working will wear the body down, and taking care of yourself is just as important as making money. Remember to set aside time to enjoy activities and spend time with people you cherish.
Happiness is contagious. If you want to be happy, it’s within your power to do so. When you are a truly happy person, you will exude a positive energy and others will take notice. Try to share that feeling with those around you, especially in a stressful work environment. Stress is not good for anyone, and causes people to be angrier, make poor decisions, experience a lack of sleep or even more serious health problems. Use the strategies above to help cope with stress at work, find an appropriate work-life balance and become a happier and more optimistic person. Your stress level and your colleagues will thank you!
Excerpted from Harry Edelson’s book: Positivity, how to be Happier, Healthier, Smarter and More Prosperous

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Who's To Judge?

Who's To Judge?

Written by Marie T. Russell

 
Over the past few years, numerous teachings about unconditional love and acceptance have come to our attention. Many of us have begun to realize the importance of being nonjudgmental and accepting people the way they are. Individually, we may not have attained the reality of this practice in our moment-to-moment existence -- however, we are aware of it, and have set unconditional acceptance as an attainable goal. 
Ideally, we all want to be in a constant state of total unconditional acceptance. However, in your zeal to become 'unconditional' have you overlooked yourself? Have you been able to stop judging and accept the inconsistencies that occasionally cause you to fall short of the mark? 

Not Spiritual Enough?

When we embark on the 'spiritual' path, we begin judging ourselves (and sometimes others) as 'not being spiritual enough'. In the past, some people whipped themselves physically when they judged themselves to have sinned. In this modern day and age, we, at times, chose instead to whip ourselves mentally and emotionally. 
How many of us have internal beliefs that sound like this: "I'm so stupid. I can never do anything right. I'm selfish. I don't deserve..." (cancel, cancel). Some of us were raised with an internal belief of being a sinner. We were told that we were born sinners.
With programs like this running the show within, no wonder we are harsh on ourselves. We get 'down' on ourselves for still not "getting it right". We strive to be unconditionally accepting, and when we aren't, we berate ourselves for our behavior. When we don't attain our goals, we judge ourselves as no good, or at least not good enough. 
It is time to fire our self-appointed judge and jury. 

It's Time to Forgive Ourselves

We must begin to forgive ourselves for believing we were bad and then stop acting as if we are fallen angels. We need to realize that we are only 'fallen' when we choose to believe that we are. If we realize that we are truly good, and live according to that belief, things will come into place. We are emerging from a time of believing ourselves to be Sinners to knowing we are Winners when we live according to our inner truth and light. 
More understanding and patience toward ourselves is a must. Unconditional love and acceptance need to reside within us and for us. However, as with any new skill, it takes time to make this change an automatic part of our lives. For instance, when you began to ride a bike, you probably fell a few times before achieving the right balance; when you learned to ski, you didn't slalom down the hill at high speeds the first few times, etc. It is the same with learning to release behaviors from our insecure and guilt-ridden past. 

Having Compassion for Our Mistakes

It is essential to realize that we are like children learning something new, and we need to have compassion for our mistakes. I feel that if we were 'perfect', in other words, if we had learned all that this 'school of life' has to teach us then we would not be here. By the very fact of our existence on this topsy-turvy planet, we know that we still have not graduated... we still have some things to learn. 
Remember being in grade school? Does a child in grade 3 criticize himself for not knowing everything that a grade 10 student knows? Children may wish they had that advanced knowledge, but know it is not their 'fault' for not yet being at that level. 
So it is with life. If you are still in grade 3 in the school of life (or grade 6 or 10), be compassionate with yourself. You still have a ways to go. Do the best you can with the knowledge you now have, and forgive yourself when you don't pass the daily tests. Simply make a conscious decision to strive to do better next time and let go of the guilt-ridden thoughts, need for punishment, and self-criticism. 

Being a Student of Life, Love, & Inner Peace

You are a student of life, love, and inner peace. As a student, you are expected to make 'mistakes' and to strive to correct them. Guilt, self-afflicted judgment and punishments are not required of you. Let that stuff go! They can only hamper you in your movement forward into the light of total love and acceptance. 
Blessed be the children that we truly are! 

Recommended Book:

A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life
by Jack Kornfield. 
Click here for more info or to order this book on Amazon. 

About The Author

Marie T. Russell  produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal growth, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.

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10 Types of Toxic People You Should Be Careful Of

BY CASEY IMAFIDON

Stressors are ever present in our lives. In order to achieve more and be more productive we need to get toxic people and stressors out of our lives. Focusing on priorities and ridding the weeds in our lives can be beneficial to our forward momentum. But first we have to identify these toxic people.

1. The Egotist

Pride sometimes is a virtue. But being arrogant means you are full of yourself and believe you are better or superior to everyone around you. Being around someone who doesn’t treat you with respect but rather intimidates and belittles you can be toxic to your personal development.

2. The Envious

It seems such people appreciate your difficult times more than your periods of victory. They believe they deserve your moment of success and not you. Although you may try to make them your supporters and fans by letting them know they are a part of your success, such people only prefer to resent you for your humility and reasonableness. This type should be avoided at all cost.

3. The Pretentious

These types only act as friends on comfortable terms. When you need their help they tend to depart and stay away. They can’t be leaned on; rather, you have to recognize their pretentious traits and establish boundaries within such relationships.

4. The Retrogressive

These types have a way of distorting your progress and dragging you backwards to old habits. They believe in being stagnant and want you to be the same person you were. This type may be hard to pinpoint, but they are people who have always being an integral part of your life and may seem difficult to ignore. But it will be better to make them aware and remind them how important success is to you. if they can’t live with it, they can walk out the door.

5. The Judgmental

Nothing is ever good enough for this type of person. They believe everyone should be criticized and scolded rather than praised. Even when intentions are good and you try to make them understand your genuine motives, they wouldn’t listen. They are terrible communicators since they are not good listeners. Squashing their negative talk or avoiding their disdainful speech could be helpful to your progress.

6. The Controller

This type is a control freak. They want you to their bidding. They can be devious, mischievous and sly in trying to twist or out-muscle you to fulfill their desires. Rising above such people may be your best option since you really can’t convince or try to make them better.

7. The Liar

It’s true that lies are common and some lies aren’t harmful; however, toxic people who lie frequently can destroy you because in order to grow, you have to surround yourself with trustworthy people who will support you and offer candid and honest opinions.

8. The Gossiper

These types of people are insecure and use their tongue to twist facts and distort information. They want to be accepted and recognized and doing so may just be the only way they can get the attention they want. Even when you try to solve the problems they have caused, the only way you can truly solve the issue is to kick them out of your life, because they can be cancerous.

9. The Parasite

Such people are only in your life to suck you dry and feed off of you. Being used can be helpful sometimes, but not with the parasitic. Their intentions are only for their self interest. Such people have to be avoided at all cost.

10. The Victim

The victims never accept responsibility. They are great at pointing their fingers at others and never accepting that they have made a mistake. What chain reaction they cause can be detrimental to your success. It is best to get rid of such people and get them out of your life.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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